So I am a 32 year old woman who has blog issues. I love to write. I have journals from when I was a youngster. I just can't get into that "groove".

Many starts and stops over the years. But I am giving this the good old college try.

Even though it's been 11 years since college and I just made myself feel incredibly old.

So the whole point of this new blog attempt on my part is the fact that I feel like Facebook taunts me every day with a "what are you doing?" type of headline.

And of COURSE it lets all the world know when you last updated it.

Right now, I know that an old HS acquaintance is tired in France (boo-freakin-hoo), that a guy I went to college is "moaning" about all the retouching he is doing and how "hard" it is to work so much (self-promoting like that makes me nauseous...I never liked him!). Plus, my mid-life crazy sister had like THE best time at Jack Johnson last night. Dude, you are 37 years old....GROW UP!

And then I think what am I?

Every time I sign on I think that. Half the time I make an alcohol related comment. I mean, you just have to see my blog's name to get that I like my apple martini's.

So I write things like:

"Looking forward to a nice glass of pinot"

"Really need a martini"

"Did anyone get the license plate of the bus that hit me?"

Keep it fresh and light right?

Because, why would I want to say I am;

"annoyed that I got my period today, but THRILLED that I am not pregnant. "

"still hungover from my Ambien from last night"

"maybe if I just keep showing up to work, they will keep paying me"

So here I am, laying those things bare...here on Momma Martini.

Today I am feeling like Desperately Seeking Susan because I am looking for an amazing job while I work at this place that feels like a sinking ship...but pays a boatload of cash. My original out date was October. Now, they don't even pretend to give me a date. I just keep showing up and they just keep paying me. I work my ass off when needed, but the past few weeks have been S-L-O-W. Plus, this company is FULL of the "I hate my job" people. They are nasty little fuckers that are constantly complaining and undermining each other.

And the thing is, I LOVE my career. I love the stress, the travel, and the overall craziness of the entertainment world. I love working 18 hour days. I love being part of the creative process.

In regards to STAFF jobs I have had potentials, but having recently suffered the disappointment of blowing an interview, the ego is a smidge raw. The position wasn't right for me. But I would have had a sweet fucking deal if I landed it.

I am overeager with an impressive resume (not trying to be snobby, but my stuff is good) in an industry that really only hires through "who you know". I suck at interviewing, I know I do...and I just want people to see what I know I can do for their company. When I do get hired, they keep me. But you can't just go in, shake hands and say "Trust me. I am going to kick ass, take names, and you will have NO idea how you existed without me." At least, I don't feel like I can.

So that is my frame of mind right now...how can you sum THAT up in 140 characters or less?

"I need a glass of wine"